A dear friend of mine from Gorham, Maine sent me the link to a video from an old film...with a song "Put One Foot In Front Of The Other".....listen to it and then listen to it again.....
It truly is the greatest motivation to get started exercising, losing weight, getting and staying fit....
You just put one foot in front of the other......
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OORsz2d1H7s
Hooooray for being fit and healthy! I'm getting back on track....how about you!
Monday, December 16, 2013
Today was "R" day....zap zap zap!
So today was day one of my radiation treatment. My appointment was at 2:30...I got there at 1:45 ( you know just in case someone cancelled and they could take me early....but I waited and waited and then I heard them come out and tell a lady that something was wrong with the radiation machine and the repairman was on his way, but it could take up to an hour....I told John, they are going to come over and tell me the machine is broken and they can't do me today...."What"...and sure enough, before I could explain, one of the techs said I think Mrs. Snyder is here too....Snyder? Yes ....well the machine is broken and it may take at least an hour to fix it. I said OK...I'll wait....the other lady had already left....so I waited, and waited...and then she came out and said well it's more than they thought it was and he'll have to get the parts...so we'll start tomorrow. Then another girl came out (as I am preparing to leave) and said ...can you stay, he found it was just a screw missing and he's fixing it right now.....so sure I can stay....let's get this show on the road.....so I stayed and I waited and finally about 3:30 they called me in..
The whole process even with pictures (glamour shots !!) and x-rays and more markings and more tattoo dots only took about 20 minutes. Then zap zap and I was done. They told me tomorrow and all the rest of the days it will take me longer to get there then it will to do the procedure. The whole procedure of getting me in position and doing the zap zap will take about 10 minutes.
What should I expect (after all it's been almost 12 years since I did this in 2002 and I couldn't remember how I would feel. She told me that in about a week I will feel very tender under the breast and in the axillary area and to buy some creme the doctor recommeded....you get it in the baby department at Target. It's called "California Baby" (for babies, young children and sensitive adults)...the latter would be me. I am to start using it right away, twice a day...but man is it pricey!!! Even the cashier looked at it when it rang up and said Wooa that's some pricey baby cream....well I think if it were just baby cream it might not be that expensive, but they've discovered Radiation Oncologist are recommending it to their patients.....so $$$$$$$$$ !!! Cha Ching !
Now I have two new tattoo dots and lots of magic marker lines all over me....so I'll be heading to the shower soon to try to get those marks off....they said I could because now they have the new tattoo dot to go by.
I count myself a lucky....after watching 2 elderly woman (probably in their 80's) both being pushed in wheel chairs back into the area where they do chemo....so I have no worries.....you know the old true statement..."I cried because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet".....and believe me there are tons of people with cancer that are so much worse off then I am...and my thoughts and prayers go out to them. My motto today and forward is "ONWARD AND UPWARD".... This is how I am planning 2014
AND A LITTLE BIT OF SHAKESPEARE..... OUT OUT DANG SPOT!!!
Put on a smile...and lets get on through this strange and troublesome 2013.....and back on the road to a happy and bright future. You all should know me by now:
I WILL NEVER GIVE UP ON MYSELF....I WILL GET THROUGH THIS AND GET BACK ON THE ROAD TO GETTING FIT AND HEALTHY.....BACK TO WALKING EVERYDAY AND BACK IN THE GYM...
I don't know why some of us have to go through this ...or why some of us have to go through it more than once...what I do know is:
And I can see way past the light at this end of this tunnel....
Thursday, December 12, 2013
Sometimes a diagnosis can be wrong....and channelling Goldie Hawn
I'm a tad bit late in my posting....and some of you have sweetly voiced concern at what's going on at this point....well not much...but I guess a lot....
Monday, I went to the hospital to have the simulation/marking done for the Radiation Therapy....you know where they tattoo me (with dots) and put me through a scanner to give the graph numbers of where they will radiate. I'm like a living piece of graph paper and they mark off the grid they will follow when they radiate. On the way there, I got a call from my surgeon who asked if I could come in so they could look at the incision done at the Emergency Room.
Turns out they don't think I had an abscess at all....that I was just having a reaction to the shot...and that since the nodes had been removed recently, that the Axilllary area just naturally filled with fluid. Had I been able to get in touch with them, they probably would have just needle drained the accumulation of fluid....but I couldn't get in touch with them and they said what the ER doctor did was OK. The thing I did not like about the ER doc was that I told him I was allergic to clear adhesive....discovered that in my last breast cancer and he basically told me it was all in my head and that people who think they are allergic to adhesive just put it on too tight..........and he bandaged me with adhesive....when I got home and the gauze needed to be changed, I cried as John tried to get the adhesive off of me without ripping my already blistering skin.
When I was in the surgeon's office, I took off the gauze that I had attached with a paper tape (not much kinder to my skin) and they asked me if the drainage had ever been any color other than the pale yellow liquid that was slowly draining out....I said no....and they said, I never had an abscess.....The surgeon told me yesterday not to use any tape at all in that area....to place several open gauze in the side of my bra which is working out fine. In fact at this point the drainage has stopped, the lump is down to the size of a dime and the incision is for all purposes closed and healing....The ER doctor put me on antibiotics that I have to take for 10 days.....the fever and trauma that my body went through glorious and quite meanly showed itself by way of horrible fever blisters all over my lips (upper and lower)...lovely! I look like Goldie Hawn in "First Wives' Club"...Ha Ha!
This is not Goldie, but you get the idea....Her lips look even better than mine because I could barely put on lipstick....I felt like I looked like I'd been in a lip fight with a bear and lost! I've stayed home and out of the public eye for a few days so as not to freak people out or scare small children 
and tried all the remedies to get them to dry up....In the past I've never had more then one or two....I must have had 20...and that's no joke.... And of course we have a dinner dance to go tomorrow....I'm hoping
all the rememdies I'm using will clear up my mouth by then.
The Radiation Oncologist called me on Tuesday and at first said I think you're all set up and good to start radiation tomorrow (that would have been Wednesday), but then she asked me to explain what had taken me to ER and what they had done....and what my Surgeon had said about the small incision...I told her it was about 3/8 of an inch long and the Surgeon says it is healing very nicely.... We talked a while longer and she said...."I'm going back and forth in my mind about starting you tomorrow....because unfortunately radiation will inhibit the complete healing of that incision and the more I think about it the more I think we should delay it a few days".....me (heavy sigh)...OK (I mean what else am I going to say...Nooooo I want to start tomorrow! She did decide to postpone it a few days and they called me Wednesday to tell me that I will be starting at 2:15 next Monday, December 16th. My treatments will be at 2:15 Monday and Tuesday and then all the rest of them will be at 8:30 in the morning every weekday for the next 4 weeks (excluding Christmas eve and day and New Year's eve and day)....those 4 days will be tacked onto the end...which should take me to about January 16th. I'm glad I was able to get early morning appts. because that will allow me to do my afternoon exercise classes and perhaps even an early early morning spin class I am hoping to take.
That's about where I am right now....I've not gone to the gym this week since I did not want to disturb that incision and I am getting frustrated that I am not exercising and just keep gaining weight.....but I guess what is important right now is for me to take care of myself and just do what exercise I can do.....the rest will come in time.
Now there is still the question of the chemo.....since my HER2/neu test came back equivocal once again. The PA in the surgeon's office explained to me that if I have to have the HER2 meds that although it is administered like chemo, it has none of the side effects of chemo such as nausea and loss of hair....that I would have to do it once every 3 weeks for a year. But that is still up in the air and to be honest with you my plate is pretty full right now
so I am going to put that discussion and thought on the back burner, get through my radiation and the holidays and face that bridge 
when I get to it.
I am off to wrap and mail Christmas packages....unload my car...with gifts that I've been hiding....try to disguise my lips one more time to go out in the public and finish up my shopping.
I have a favor I'd like to ask of all of you reading this blog....I have a dear old friend/boss who is losing his battle with lung cancer and sadly his time left on this earth is very very short. Please keep him and his family in your thoughts and prayers as they travel down this heart breaking road that we each must face one day or that we have faced already. Please let your warm thoughts of comfort surround them so that even through their deep sadness they might feel some peace. Thank you.
Have a really beautiful day and remember to tell those you care about ....that you care....don't put it off....we are only given this moment in time and life is way way too short and sometimes those...."I need to remember to say 'that' to whomever" "next time I see them I'll do that".....we never really know when that time in the future might not get here...
To all of you my family and friends who follow this blog and who encourage me not only to beat this cancer, but to continue my quest to get and stay healthy and fit and to be fit at 99....and to motivate others down that path....I thank you and I openly and gladly say I love you...each of you make my world special and make this journey I am on (even with the bumps and curves in the road) so worthwhile.
Oh and Barbara thank you so much for the book gift you gave me....I know I'll have it with me during my treatments.
John, I love you!
Monday, I went to the hospital to have the simulation/marking done for the Radiation Therapy....you know where they tattoo me (with dots) and put me through a scanner to give the graph numbers of where they will radiate. I'm like a living piece of graph paper and they mark off the grid they will follow when they radiate. On the way there, I got a call from my surgeon who asked if I could come in so they could look at the incision done at the Emergency Room.
Turns out they don't think I had an abscess at all....that I was just having a reaction to the shot...and that since the nodes had been removed recently, that the Axilllary area just naturally filled with fluid. Had I been able to get in touch with them, they probably would have just needle drained the accumulation of fluid....but I couldn't get in touch with them and they said what the ER doctor did was OK. The thing I did not like about the ER doc was that I told him I was allergic to clear adhesive....discovered that in my last breast cancer and he basically told me it was all in my head and that people who think they are allergic to adhesive just put it on too tight..........and he bandaged me with adhesive....when I got home and the gauze needed to be changed, I cried as John tried to get the adhesive off of me without ripping my already blistering skin.
When I was in the surgeon's office, I took off the gauze that I had attached with a paper tape (not much kinder to my skin) and they asked me if the drainage had ever been any color other than the pale yellow liquid that was slowly draining out....I said no....and they said, I never had an abscess.....The surgeon told me yesterday not to use any tape at all in that area....to place several open gauze in the side of my bra which is working out fine. In fact at this point the drainage has stopped, the lump is down to the size of a dime and the incision is for all purposes closed and healing....The ER doctor put me on antibiotics that I have to take for 10 days.....the fever and trauma that my body went through glorious and quite meanly showed itself by way of horrible fever blisters all over my lips (upper and lower)...lovely! I look like Goldie Hawn in "First Wives' Club"...Ha Ha!
The Radiation Oncologist called me on Tuesday and at first said I think you're all set up and good to start radiation tomorrow (that would have been Wednesday), but then she asked me to explain what had taken me to ER and what they had done....and what my Surgeon had said about the small incision...I told her it was about 3/8 of an inch long and the Surgeon says it is healing very nicely.... We talked a while longer and she said...."I'm going back and forth in my mind about starting you tomorrow....because unfortunately radiation will inhibit the complete healing of that incision and the more I think about it the more I think we should delay it a few days".....me (heavy sigh)...OK (I mean what else am I going to say...Nooooo I want to start tomorrow! She did decide to postpone it a few days and they called me Wednesday to tell me that I will be starting at 2:15 next Monday, December 16th. My treatments will be at 2:15 Monday and Tuesday and then all the rest of them will be at 8:30 in the morning every weekday for the next 4 weeks (excluding Christmas eve and day and New Year's eve and day)....those 4 days will be tacked onto the end...which should take me to about January 16th. I'm glad I was able to get early morning appts. because that will allow me to do my afternoon exercise classes and perhaps even an early early morning spin class I am hoping to take.
That's about where I am right now....I've not gone to the gym this week since I did not want to disturb that incision and I am getting frustrated that I am not exercising and just keep gaining weight.....but I guess what is important right now is for me to take care of myself and just do what exercise I can do.....the rest will come in time.
Now there is still the question of the chemo.....since my HER2/neu test came back equivocal once again. The PA in the surgeon's office explained to me that if I have to have the HER2 meds that although it is administered like chemo, it has none of the side effects of chemo such as nausea and loss of hair....that I would have to do it once every 3 weeks for a year. But that is still up in the air and to be honest with you my plate is pretty full right now
I am off to wrap and mail Christmas packages....unload my car...with gifts that I've been hiding....try to disguise my lips one more time to go out in the public and finish up my shopping.
I have a favor I'd like to ask of all of you reading this blog....I have a dear old friend/boss who is losing his battle with lung cancer and sadly his time left on this earth is very very short. Please keep him and his family in your thoughts and prayers as they travel down this heart breaking road that we each must face one day or that we have faced already. Please let your warm thoughts of comfort surround them so that even through their deep sadness they might feel some peace. Thank you.
Have a really beautiful day and remember to tell those you care about ....that you care....don't put it off....we are only given this moment in time and life is way way too short and sometimes those...."I need to remember to say 'that' to whomever" "next time I see them I'll do that".....we never really know when that time in the future might not get here...
To all of you my family and friends who follow this blog and who encourage me not only to beat this cancer, but to continue my quest to get and stay healthy and fit and to be fit at 99....and to motivate others down that path....I thank you and I openly and gladly say I love you...each of you make my world special and make this journey I am on (even with the bumps and curves in the road) so worthwhile.
Oh and Barbara thank you so much for the book gift you gave me....I know I'll have it with me during my treatments.
John, I love you!
Sunday, December 8, 2013
That strange side road.....WiFi
On Friday, December 6th I was feeling very very bad...to put it bluntly....like I'd fallen down a hill and someone was there to kick me. My arm and underarm were hurting and I felt feverish and to be honest ...like I had a really bad case of the flu.
But I don't want to go lay back down and miss my 1:00 call to get my in-hospital HER2 results. So I doctor myself with Tylenol, get to feeling better.....then get to feeling worse.....As I am getting the results of the test (see previous post) I mention to the oncology assistant I am talking to, what my symptoms are. She advises I either call my surgeon or my PCM.
Naturally I can't get anyone in the surgeon's office (It's Friday afternoon), but I am able to get a 3:45 appointment with my Primary Care Manager right here at the clinic 10 mins. from my house. I call John and tell him I need to go see the doctor and being the sweet caring man that he is, he comes home and takes me....good thing....because....
When the doctor looked at the place under my arm he says it appears that there might be an abscess and that it probably needs to be lanced. But since I am just a short time out of surgery, he does not feel comfortable doing it in his office and advises I go to the
Well if you've ever been to an Emergency room, you know that is always just a blast!!!!! But when we got there the lobby was empty.....and I do mean empty as in we are the only ones in there. We check in and can you guess what we do........(as I'm feeling like all the energy and fight has been drained out of me and I'm burning up with fever 102.5)? Yes you guessed it....we sit and wait...well OK so just because the lobby isn't full, doesn't mean behind the doors there aren't a lot of people....but when I finally got called in....there did not appear to be a lot of people!!
Regardless.....
They did blood work, urine test and took a chest X-ray to rule out anything else....other than the fact that the axillary area may have a bit of an abscess. They put me on a fluid IV. After consulting someone in my surgeon's area (I guess ER doctors have a special line to an area where I could get no one to answer earlier)...to let them know what he planned to do (and they concurred), the ER doctor did a small incision at the site and placed a small ribbon in the incision sight to keep it open with instructions to pull it out in two days. He bandaged it and advised that I apply hot packs at least 4 times a day, that I could shower and to change the bandages as needed. Before I left he gave me a dose (2) of an antibiotic and called in a prescription. I will be on antibiotics for 10 days.
Twice during the night,(Friday), I felt like a fever broke as I was drenched and had to change sleep clothes. I am feeling considerably better.
So that's the side road that was not expected, but compared to everything else....I guess I should say it was a walk in the park..........except for when the nurse put the IV in.....Lord she must have skipped the day they did training in putting an IV in. I've never had an IV hurt like that...I cried..........wait, do I see a pattern here....I seem to be crying a lot lately!
Sunday, December 8th...
The axillary site looks a lot better, the ribbon fell out last night while I was changing bandages....and I appear to be on the mend.....still 9 more days of antibiotics.
I am proceeding with radiation and have a simulation/marking appointment tomorrow, Monday December 9th at 9:30.
The doctor at the ER said that he thought it unlikely that they would want to do radiation on me right now with this opened incision....although since the ribbon is out, it may well close up prior to them actually starting radiation on Wednesday. I will certainly talk to the radiation people about that. If I don't have to delay, I will start on Wednesday, December 11th and the treatments will last until around January 13th... and if I am lucky (keeping my fingers and toes crossed) and I do not have to do chemo after the radiation, then my mind is going to change from all this not so happy bump in my road to the high seas......
I can close my eyes and hear Christopher Cross now......Copy and paste this web site into your search line and you'll be able to hear him too......
http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=lyrics+to+sailing&FORM=VIRE3#view=detail&mid=A736CD4B0D6FA0F38A1DA736CD4B0D6FA0F38A1D
Tomorrow I'll give you all the exciting details of going through the cat scan and getting marked for radiation in my next post. I'm sure a fun time will be had by all !
Hey maybe they can make me a human 'Hot Spot' so I can have WiFi when I go visit my mom!!!!
But I don't want to go lay back down and miss my 1:00 call to get my in-hospital HER2 results. So I doctor myself with Tylenol, get to feeling better.....then get to feeling worse.....As I am getting the results of the test (see previous post) I mention to the oncology assistant I am talking to, what my symptoms are. She advises I either call my surgeon or my PCM.
Naturally I can't get anyone in the surgeon's office (It's Friday afternoon), but I am able to get a 3:45 appointment with my Primary Care Manager right here at the clinic 10 mins. from my house. I call John and tell him I need to go see the doctor and being the sweet caring man that he is, he comes home and takes me....good thing....because....
When the doctor looked at the place under my arm he says it appears that there might be an abscess and that it probably needs to be lanced. But since I am just a short time out of surgery, he does not feel comfortable doing it in his office and advises I go to the
Well if you've ever been to an Emergency room, you know that is always just a blast!!!!! But when we got there the lobby was empty.....and I do mean empty as in we are the only ones in there. We check in and can you guess what we do........(as I'm feeling like all the energy and fight has been drained out of me and I'm burning up with fever 102.5)? Yes you guessed it....we sit and wait...well OK so just because the lobby isn't full, doesn't mean behind the doors there aren't a lot of people....but when I finally got called in....there did not appear to be a lot of people!!
Regardless.....
They did blood work, urine test and took a chest X-ray to rule out anything else....other than the fact that the axillary area may have a bit of an abscess. They put me on a fluid IV. After consulting someone in my surgeon's area (I guess ER doctors have a special line to an area where I could get no one to answer earlier)...to let them know what he planned to do (and they concurred), the ER doctor did a small incision at the site and placed a small ribbon in the incision sight to keep it open with instructions to pull it out in two days. He bandaged it and advised that I apply hot packs at least 4 times a day, that I could shower and to change the bandages as needed. Before I left he gave me a dose (2) of an antibiotic and called in a prescription. I will be on antibiotics for 10 days.
Twice during the night,(Friday), I felt like a fever broke as I was drenched and had to change sleep clothes. I am feeling considerably better.
So that's the side road that was not expected, but compared to everything else....I guess I should say it was a walk in the park..........except for when the nurse put the IV in.....Lord she must have skipped the day they did training in putting an IV in. I've never had an IV hurt like that...I cried..........wait, do I see a pattern here....I seem to be crying a lot lately!
Sunday, December 8th...
The axillary site looks a lot better, the ribbon fell out last night while I was changing bandages....and I appear to be on the mend.....still 9 more days of antibiotics.
I am proceeding with radiation and have a simulation/marking appointment tomorrow, Monday December 9th at 9:30.
The doctor at the ER said that he thought it unlikely that they would want to do radiation on me right now with this opened incision....although since the ribbon is out, it may well close up prior to them actually starting radiation on Wednesday. I will certainly talk to the radiation people about that. If I don't have to delay, I will start on Wednesday, December 11th and the treatments will last until around January 13th... and if I am lucky (keeping my fingers and toes crossed) and I do not have to do chemo after the radiation, then my mind is going to change from all this not so happy bump in my road to the high seas......
I can close my eyes and hear Christopher Cross now......Copy and paste this web site into your search line and you'll be able to hear him too......
http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=lyrics+to+sailing&FORM=VIRE3#view=detail&mid=A736CD4B0D6FA0F38A1DA736CD4B0D6FA0F38A1D
Tomorrow I'll give you all the exciting details of going through the cat scan and getting marked for radiation in my next post. I'm sure a fun time will be had by all !
Bad News....sorta and Good News....sorta
So where was I ....oh yea....feeling really good and positive.....and then my world took the wrong way down a dead end street. (Well not really a dead end street....just a side road I hadn't planned on going down).
As I said, my radiation consultation was just great. Yeh, day starting out pretty good....that was Wednesday. Thursday John had an appointment at the same hospital where I went to have surgery and where my Oncologist is housed. While we were waiting to get into a room where we could wait for the doctor a little longer....you know that obscured sign in a doctor's office that says :if you've been waiting 20 minutes past the time of your appointment, then notify reception".....well I think that they watch a clock back behind the doors and wait until 2 seconds before it will be time for you to go to the receptionist to complain and see if she can tell you the reason your appointment is 20 minutes late......and they come out and call you in, only to take your vital signs, blood pressure, weight, age, date of birth and ask if you are having any pain.....to then take you to another room where you.................................
.................yes that's right, sit and wait
yet again. Anyway, while we were waiting, I got a message from my oncologist telling me my Oncotype-DX test was in and she wanted me to make an appointment to come see her. So I immediately message her back and tell her I am in the building on the floor below her office and asked if I could come up after John's appointment.....well she was busy, but I got to see her at 1:45 that same day. I'm still feeling good and obviously anxious to hear the results of that test.
THE ONCOTYPE - DX TEST (please read previous post for more detailed info on this test).
As you may recall from my last post on the Oncotype - DX test results are split into 3 sections LOW = 1-18, MEDIUM = 19-31 and HIGH = 32 - however high it goes. LOW = NO CHEMO, MEDIUM = A GRAY AREA AND REQUIRES PATIENT/DOCTOR REVIEW & DISCUSSION ON WHAT THEY DEEM TO BE BENEFIT VS TOXICITY OF THE CHEMO and HIGH = MUST DO CHEMO.
Drum roll please.......Ratatat ratatat ratatat....
Mine came back 19....so right over the line from LOW...and in that big Oncotype - DX test, they also do their own version of the HER-2 test....which came back negative. The oncologist advised based on the results from that test that the toxicity of the chemo would be more damaging to me than the chemo would give benefit....and she advised that I do not do chemo.
Good news, yeh? It sure seemed so at the time.
The in-hospital of the HER2/neu test and those results would not be back until 1:00 on Friday- Dec. 6th. Oncologist suspects it too will come back negative and only if it came back positive, would we then sit down again and discuss the pros and cons of doing chemo...but her gut feeling says NO CHEMO. (Yes you may all breath a sigh of relief on my behalf)
I was very stoic when she told me and it wasn't until late Thursday night (well in the wee hours of Friday morning) that I started crying and told John I was so glad it looked like I might not have to do chemo.....I was actually leaning (and feeling safe about my decision) toward doing chemo since it is my second time....but I feel confident with my oncologist's recommendations.
The Radiaologist called me Friday afternoon and told me she too had seen the results of the Oncotype - DX test and that because I was in the gray zone (19-31)....I would need to sit down with my oncologist and discuss the benefit and side effect % of doing chemo. I told her I'd already met with her and she recommended no chemo. That had been the Radiologist's opinion too.
As I mentioned on the previous blog, I told Radiology that if I did not have to have chemo, I wanted to start radiation right away....so if she could get me into have the cat scan/marking on Monday, and they were able to start me on Tuesday, I was ready.....that would mean radiation would be done around the middle of January.
To be perfectly honest with you I don't remember much about the radiation....except that marking, the daily trips (for 6 weeks) into town (for my 2002 cancer, since my husband had just passed away, I stayed with my folks out in the country south of San Antonio)....I vaguely remember that it made me tired. This time I will have radiation a mere 15 mins. trip from my home and only for 4 weeks.
So you'r thinking where's the alley you turned down......... this all sound pretty great to me???
Well as Paul Harvey used to always say....." here's the rest of the story".......
Thursday night after I got the good news, I had a horrible night
I forgot to mention that I had asked my oncologist if it was OK for me to get my (naa naa naa naa naa...you're 65) pneumonia shot.....she said absolutely. So after the appointments , we headed for our local pharmacy to get my shot.
When they gave me the shot, they explained that the shot site would possible be tender, red and swollen for a few days...up to 10. Well boy they were mot kidding
and he even promised me he used the sharpest least rusty needle he had!!! By Thursday evening, not only did the site hurt and swell up.....(it was given in my right arm...same side of recent surgery), but the fluid sack that was by the 3 nodes they removed (which had practically gone down) swelled up again...even bigger. I was miserable all Thursday night. (Well not all Thursday night because earlier in the evening we had a sweet neighbor over to play a board game)....but later.... My arm and my underarm were throbbing and I woke up trembling, cold and hurting. I was crying and shaking and at 3:00 AM Friday morning, I took two Tylenol. I was able to fall asleep. I woke up later in the early morning feeling like the fever had broken
Later Friday morning, I got to hurting again and feeling very low....but I took Tylenol and Lorazapam to calm my nerves and set my alarm to 1:00 so I could call for the results of the HER2/nau test.
(more on this 'side road' story on my next post)
But before I close this post.....I'm sure you'll want to know the results of
THE HOSPITAL HER2 TEST......
The test came back....once again equivocal (can't tell if it's negative or positive)
But the oncologist advised I proceed with the radiation and when that is done, we'll meet again and discuss the pros and cons of chemo.
'Side Road' story in my next post...coming right up...
As I said, my radiation consultation was just great. Yeh, day starting out pretty good....that was Wednesday. Thursday John had an appointment at the same hospital where I went to have surgery and where my Oncologist is housed. While we were waiting to get into a room where we could wait for the doctor a little longer....you know that obscured sign in a doctor's office that says :if you've been waiting 20 minutes past the time of your appointment, then notify reception".....well I think that they watch a clock back behind the doors and wait until 2 seconds before it will be time for you to go to the receptionist to complain and see if she can tell you the reason your appointment is 20 minutes late......and they come out and call you in, only to take your vital signs, blood pressure, weight, age, date of birth and ask if you are having any pain.....to then take you to another room where you.................................
.................yes that's right, sit and wait
THE ONCOTYPE - DX TEST (please read previous post for more detailed info on this test).
As you may recall from my last post on the Oncotype - DX test results are split into 3 sections LOW = 1-18, MEDIUM = 19-31 and HIGH = 32 - however high it goes. LOW = NO CHEMO, MEDIUM = A GRAY AREA AND REQUIRES PATIENT/DOCTOR REVIEW & DISCUSSION ON WHAT THEY DEEM TO BE BENEFIT VS TOXICITY OF THE CHEMO and HIGH = MUST DO CHEMO.
Mine came back 19....so right over the line from LOW...and in that big Oncotype - DX test, they also do their own version of the HER-2 test....which came back negative. The oncologist advised based on the results from that test that the toxicity of the chemo would be more damaging to me than the chemo would give benefit....and she advised that I do not do chemo.
Good news, yeh? It sure seemed so at the time.
The in-hospital of the HER2/neu test and those results would not be back until 1:00 on Friday- Dec. 6th. Oncologist suspects it too will come back negative and only if it came back positive, would we then sit down again and discuss the pros and cons of doing chemo...but her gut feeling says NO CHEMO. (Yes you may all breath a sigh of relief on my behalf)
I was very stoic when she told me and it wasn't until late Thursday night (well in the wee hours of Friday morning) that I started crying and told John I was so glad it looked like I might not have to do chemo.....I was actually leaning (and feeling safe about my decision) toward doing chemo since it is my second time....but I feel confident with my oncologist's recommendations.
The Radiaologist called me Friday afternoon and told me she too had seen the results of the Oncotype - DX test and that because I was in the gray zone (19-31)....I would need to sit down with my oncologist and discuss the benefit and side effect % of doing chemo. I told her I'd already met with her and she recommended no chemo. That had been the Radiologist's opinion too.
As I mentioned on the previous blog, I told Radiology that if I did not have to have chemo, I wanted to start radiation right away....so if she could get me into have the cat scan/marking on Monday, and they were able to start me on Tuesday, I was ready.....that would mean radiation would be done around the middle of January.
To be perfectly honest with you I don't remember much about the radiation....except that marking, the daily trips (for 6 weeks) into town (for my 2002 cancer, since my husband had just passed away, I stayed with my folks out in the country south of San Antonio)....I vaguely remember that it made me tired. This time I will have radiation a mere 15 mins. trip from my home and only for 4 weeks.
So you'r thinking where's the alley you turned down......... this all sound pretty great to me???
Well as Paul Harvey used to always say....." here's the rest of the story".......
Thursday night after I got the good news, I had a horrible night
When they gave me the shot, they explained that the shot site would possible be tender, red and swollen for a few days...up to 10. Well boy they were mot kidding
Later Friday morning, I got to hurting again and feeling very low....but I took Tylenol and Lorazapam to calm my nerves and set my alarm to 1:00 so I could call for the results of the HER2/nau test.
(more on this 'side road' story on my next post)
But before I close this post.....I'm sure you'll want to know the results of
THE HOSPITAL HER2 TEST......
The test came back....once again equivocal (can't tell if it's negative or positive)
'Side Road' story in my next post...coming right up...
Wednesday, December 4, 2013
Oh the strides they've made.....after so many mistakes...
Good morning....
I went to my Radiation Oncology Therapy appointment yesterday , TUESDAY, DEC. 3RD AT 10:00.......got there early because I knew I'd have paperwork to fill out..........Phew....that's an understatement. When I finished filling out the 'book' telling them everything they ever wanted to know about me and my health (and then some)....it was near 11:00 (glad my appointment was at 10:00 !)...Anyway, it is a necessary evil and lots of the questions and statements that you have to sign is to protect their rears! I got the (what seemed like 22 pages) filled out and waited to be called in...
Finally.....SNYDER....yes...here........"The doctor will see you now" (well sort of -- you know how that goes)...they weigh you and take your vital signs and take you to the room and ask you more questions....(some of the same ones you just spent an hour answering on their questionnaire) and you wait a little longer.
The doctor came in and I liked her from the minute she held out her hand and introduced herself. Only a couple of years younger than me...(I looked it up)....she presents herself well and her words told me she knows what she's talking about and this is not her first rodeo. I loved that she made me feel like I was her only patient. She used language that I could understand and explained everything completely and spent more than 10 minutes with me....giving me time to ask every question I had and answering them in great detail.
Things have changed since my last cancer in 2002. When I had radiation then I laid perfectly still on a hard metal slab while they adjusted laser lights to get a cross hair graph and mark (actually tattoo you with small dots) the exact spot where they would be shooting the beam of radiation in each day that you came for treatment. She told me that procedure has been replaced with a digital cat scan. When she talked about the tattooing, I asked if I could have
tattooed on me....She laughed and said, you deserve that for having to go through this twice!
She said I had been presented to the "Tumor Board" on Monday....the "board" consisting of surgeons, oncologists, pathologists, some other people that could give input and herself (the radiation oncologist). On Mondays, they meet on the patients they are currently treating, giving reports, treatment suggestions etc. The presentation of my case included the fact that they were waiting on the retest of the HER-2/neu test and the Oncotype DX tissue test. The HER-2/neu test in my last cancer (2002) was negative. This one was equivocal (unsure of positive or negative result)....a positive result would mean I would definitely do chemo....negative would indicate that I might not need chemo. The Oncotype DX test is relatively new (only in the last 5 years) and although doctors were very skeptical of the power of the results of this test (purported by the scientist), time and time again, the test results proved to "spot on". This is a brief synopsis of what the test does:
The Oncotype DX test is a genomic test that analyzes the activity of a group of genes that can affect how a cancer is likely to behave and respond to treatment. The Oncotype DX is used in two ways:
For further more detailed information go to :
http://www.breastcancer.org/symptoms/testing/types/oncotype_dx
The test results come back in 3 catagories: LOW (0-17), INTERMEDIATE(18-31), HIGH (32-100)
LOW - chemo usually not required
INTERMEDIATE - discussion with oncologist and patient to include all aspects of patient's history and current cancer to determine benefits of chemo
HIGH - usually always requires chemo
My oncologist is leaning toward chemo (as am I) mainly based on the fact that this is my second occurrence.............but (and some of my well meaning friends will be thrilled to hear this) my Radiation doctor said that for many many years patients were given chemo that really did not need it....that even as recently as 2002 it was still a trial and error situation (and even today, there are trials and studies going on to determine if the chemo itself is of more benefit to the patient than the damage done by the side effects of the chemo)....I think that is pretty impressive news and finally a doctor that will admit that unfortunately doctors used the information they had available) i.e. in 2002 I had 21 lymph nodes removed....all of which were clean. Probably in hind sight, they didn't need to be removed. But at the time the Sentenal Node theory was just being tested and not every hospital had the dye available to pin point the first 3 nodes that the cancer might spread to (if it had spread out of the breast). Because of the size of my tumor in 2002 and because I had let it go longer than I should have....I was advised to do chemo and I do not regret that decision.
Today, I feel confident that the doctors and pathologist have made so many strides in the field of available testing that allows a more informative and conclusive decision of treatment.
Although my oncologist (when I first met her) said she was leaning toward chemo...she did say that if the HER2/nau is negative and the Oncotype DX test result is LOW....then we will revisit the use of chemo and determine if the side effects would outweigh any benefit the chemo might give.
The Radiation doctor said yesterday, that from what she can see so far, she believes that the HER2/nau test will come back negative and the Oncotype DX will come back LOW and that I will NOT have to do chemo. We are still wating for the results of those test. However, she did call me back yesterday afternoon and said she spoke to the lab doing the Oncotype DX test (which takes the longest time to get results of the two test) and they told her they should have the results of my tissue test tomorrow afternoon. She should be calling me with the results this Friday, December 6th (all right ....I do have something to look forward to on Friday......see my previous post for the side joke here!)
So that's where I stand as of today.....still waiting....but a bit more hopeful that I will not have to do chemo and only 4 weeks of radiation. (Even that has changed...in 2002 I had to do 6 weeks).
I am amazed at the strides that have been made in the world of cancer. If you are able and can find a fundraiser that gives 100% of the donation to research....please make a donation. Your donation might just bring about the research that finds a more accurate test or more conclusive information or a less invasive means of treatment....for someone.....just like me.
Hugs everyone.....think positive and THINK PINK!
I went to my Radiation Oncology Therapy appointment yesterday , TUESDAY, DEC. 3RD AT 10:00.......got there early because I knew I'd have paperwork to fill out..........Phew....that's an understatement. When I finished filling out the 'book' telling them everything they ever wanted to know about me and my health (and then some)....it was near 11:00 (glad my appointment was at 10:00 !)...Anyway, it is a necessary evil and lots of the questions and statements that you have to sign is to protect their rears! I got the (what seemed like 22 pages) filled out and waited to be called in...
Finally.....SNYDER....yes...here........"The doctor will see you now" (well sort of -- you know how that goes)...they weigh you and take your vital signs and take you to the room and ask you more questions....(some of the same ones you just spent an hour answering on their questionnaire) and you wait a little longer.
The doctor came in and I liked her from the minute she held out her hand and introduced herself. Only a couple of years younger than me...(I looked it up)....she presents herself well and her words told me she knows what she's talking about and this is not her first rodeo. I loved that she made me feel like I was her only patient. She used language that I could understand and explained everything completely and spent more than 10 minutes with me....giving me time to ask every question I had and answering them in great detail.
Things have changed since my last cancer in 2002. When I had radiation then I laid perfectly still on a hard metal slab while they adjusted laser lights to get a cross hair graph and mark (actually tattoo you with small dots) the exact spot where they would be shooting the beam of radiation in each day that you came for treatment. She told me that procedure has been replaced with a digital cat scan. When she talked about the tattooing, I asked if I could have
She said I had been presented to the "Tumor Board" on Monday....the "board" consisting of surgeons, oncologists, pathologists, some other people that could give input and herself (the radiation oncologist). On Mondays, they meet on the patients they are currently treating, giving reports, treatment suggestions etc. The presentation of my case included the fact that they were waiting on the retest of the HER-2/neu test and the Oncotype DX tissue test. The HER-2/neu test in my last cancer (2002) was negative. This one was equivocal (unsure of positive or negative result)....a positive result would mean I would definitely do chemo....negative would indicate that I might not need chemo. The Oncotype DX test is relatively new (only in the last 5 years) and although doctors were very skeptical of the power of the results of this test (purported by the scientist), time and time again, the test results proved to "spot on". This is a brief synopsis of what the test does:
The Oncotype DX test is a genomic test that analyzes the activity of a group of genes that can affect how a cancer is likely to behave and respond to treatment. The Oncotype DX is used in two ways:
- To help doctors figure out a woman’s risk of early-stage, estrogen-receptor-positive breast cancer coming back (recurrence), as well as how likely she is to benefit from chemotherapy after breast cancer surgery.
For further more detailed information go to :
http://www.breastcancer.org/symptoms/testing/types/oncotype_dx
The test results come back in 3 catagories: LOW (0-17), INTERMEDIATE(18-31), HIGH (32-100)
LOW - chemo usually not required
INTERMEDIATE - discussion with oncologist and patient to include all aspects of patient's history and current cancer to determine benefits of chemo
HIGH - usually always requires chemo
My oncologist is leaning toward chemo (as am I) mainly based on the fact that this is my second occurrence.............but (and some of my well meaning friends will be thrilled to hear this) my Radiation doctor said that for many many years patients were given chemo that really did not need it....that even as recently as 2002 it was still a trial and error situation (and even today, there are trials and studies going on to determine if the chemo itself is of more benefit to the patient than the damage done by the side effects of the chemo)....I think that is pretty impressive news and finally a doctor that will admit that unfortunately doctors used the information they had available) i.e. in 2002 I had 21 lymph nodes removed....all of which were clean. Probably in hind sight, they didn't need to be removed. But at the time the Sentenal Node theory was just being tested and not every hospital had the dye available to pin point the first 3 nodes that the cancer might spread to (if it had spread out of the breast). Because of the size of my tumor in 2002 and because I had let it go longer than I should have....I was advised to do chemo and I do not regret that decision.
Today, I feel confident that the doctors and pathologist have made so many strides in the field of available testing that allows a more informative and conclusive decision of treatment.
Although my oncologist (when I first met her) said she was leaning toward chemo...she did say that if the HER2/nau is negative and the Oncotype DX test result is LOW....then we will revisit the use of chemo and determine if the side effects would outweigh any benefit the chemo might give.
The Radiation doctor said yesterday, that from what she can see so far, she believes that the HER2/nau test will come back negative and the Oncotype DX will come back LOW and that I will NOT have to do chemo. We are still wating for the results of those test. However, she did call me back yesterday afternoon and said she spoke to the lab doing the Oncotype DX test (which takes the longest time to get results of the two test) and they told her they should have the results of my tissue test tomorrow afternoon. She should be calling me with the results this Friday, December 6th (all right ....I do have something to look forward to on Friday......see my previous post for the side joke here!)
So that's where I stand as of today.....still waiting....but a bit more hopeful that I will not have to do chemo and only 4 weeks of radiation. (Even that has changed...in 2002 I had to do 6 weeks).
I am amazed at the strides that have been made in the world of cancer. If you are able and can find a fundraiser that gives 100% of the donation to research....please make a donation. Your donation might just bring about the research that finds a more accurate test or more conclusive information or a less invasive means of treatment....for someone.....just like me.
What do you get when.....
What do you get when all in one year you lose your Dad, you have you Achilles tendon detached and reattached because of tears in it, you lose your Uncle/God Father, you try to help your mom maneuver her new life without the man she has loved and been with almost 24/7 for 66 years, you lose 50 pounds and gain a lot of it back and you find out you have breast cancer--all in the year you turn 65 and become Medicare eligible (you know the sure sign that you're not a kid anymore!!!) 
...What do you get? You get a mind that is trying to cope with sad realities, challenging realities, confusing realities, one right after the other, one on top of the other, all mixed up until you feel like you are being pulled in 65 different directions at once.....then add surgery, lots of doctor appointments, the chaos of Thanksgiving (while still trying desperately to be Thankful)....is it no wonder you feel like you're losing your mind!
So let me try to paint this picture for you.
We've gone back and forth as to staying at home and having a nice quiet Thanksgiving (after having to cancel plans to fly to New England to have Thanksgiving with family and friends.....cancelled because I found out I had breast cancer...and needed surgery and treatment) to going down and having it with family that lived near by.....(which we finally did do) and I get a call from my Radiation doctor's office to schedule a consultation (remember in my last post I said it was scheduled for this coming Friday, December 6th)...you might want to get a note pad 
because it begins to get tricky....well not tricky, but a bit confusing. OK so I've made this appointment after a rather lengthy discussion of when the doctor would be at the clinic nearest to me. She wouldn't be in my location on Monday, Dec. 2nd at 10:00 or Tuesday Dec. 3rd at 10:00....but she would be there Friday, Dec. 6th at 9:30 (honest that is what I heard and wrote down). I walked into our sun room where John has his computer and tell him the appointment so he can write it on his calendar. I call Mom that evening and she asks if I can come down and take her to a doctor's appointment on Friday, December 6th...........oh (heavy sigh), "Sorry Mom, I can't..... I have an appointment that same day".......
We head down on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving (to help get things ready) and as I walk in the door, I say to Mom....too bad you couldn't get your appointment changed....because after we have Thanksgiving dinner, you could've come back home with us (we live about 2 hours away) and spent the weekend and then I could've brought you back on Sunday and taken you to your doctor's appointment...........well she started laughing and said, "I just got off the phone with the doctor's office and was able to change my appointment to Tuesday Dec. 3rd at 1:00!"....perfect! Isn't it wonderful how things work out! She packs her little bag, we do Thanksgiving with the family and we (along with Mom) head back home for the long weekend.
When we walk in the house....I notice "YOU HAVE A MESSAGE" on my home phone
I push the button and the recorder starts...."This message is to remind Peggy that she has an appointment at the Radiation Clinic on Tuesday, December 3rd at 10:00 . "
WHAT?!
Wait...let me rewind that and play it again.....yep same message..."This message is to remind Peggy that she has an appointment at the Radiation Clinic on Tuesday, December 3rd at 10:00 . " That can't be....my appointment is for Friday, Dec. 6th~! Am I losing my mind???? OK...check what I wrote down...yep Friday, Dec. 6.......check what I wrote in my blog....yep Friday, Dec. 6....check to see what John wrote on his calender...........................Tuesday, Dec. 3rd at 10:00!!!! WHAT???? 65 DIFFERENT DIRECTIONS.....I feel like I'm in a terrible time warp....the room is spinning....how could I make such a mistake??? So I tell Mom....she can't believe it either. But it's the Thanksgiving holiday weekend and no way to get in touch with them to see if they (surely not I) made a mistake and if I can change the appointment if it truly is Tuesday. Nothing to do but enjoy the weekend and take Mom back home on Sunday afternoon.....I'll call early Monday morning and get this straightened out.
"Good morning....I'd like to check on an appointment that is schedule for Friday, December 6th"..............."No sorry, your appointment is for Tuesday, Dec. 3rd at 10:00. The doctor won't be at your location on Dec. 6th and doesn't have any other appointments available until near the end of the month"..........W H A T !!!!
Well I have no choice but to see if my sister can take Mom to her appointment on Tuesday.....and drive back home to make my appointment on Tuesday.
Deep breath Peggy....deep breath.....your world is not spiraling out of control...you are not losing your mind......just too many things going on...too many appointments to keep track of.....
Long story....long.....I made my appointment and I'll share the news in my next post.....
Now let's see where did I set my cup of coffee down????/
...What do you get? You get a mind that is trying to cope with sad realities, challenging realities, confusing realities, one right after the other, one on top of the other, all mixed up until you feel like you are being pulled in 65 different directions at once.....then add surgery, lots of doctor appointments, the chaos of Thanksgiving (while still trying desperately to be Thankful)....is it no wonder you feel like you're losing your mind!
So let me try to paint this picture for you.
We head down on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving (to help get things ready) and as I walk in the door, I say to Mom....too bad you couldn't get your appointment changed....because after we have Thanksgiving dinner, you could've come back home with us (we live about 2 hours away) and spent the weekend and then I could've brought you back on Sunday and taken you to your doctor's appointment...........well she started laughing and said, "I just got off the phone with the doctor's office and was able to change my appointment to Tuesday Dec. 3rd at 1:00!"....perfect! Isn't it wonderful how things work out! She packs her little bag, we do Thanksgiving with the family and we (along with Mom) head back home for the long weekend.
When we walk in the house....I notice "YOU HAVE A MESSAGE" on my home phone
WHAT?!
Well I have no choice but to see if my sister can take Mom to her appointment on Tuesday.....and drive back home to make my appointment on Tuesday.
Deep breath Peggy....deep breath.....your world is not spiraling out of control...you are not losing your mind......just too many things going on...too many appointments to keep track of.....
Long story....long.....I made my appointment and I'll share the news in my next post.....
Now let's see where did I set my cup of coffee down????/
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