Note to self....and Happy Birthday Daddy

June 9, 2014

Wow, can it really already be a month since I last wrote on this blog. Some motivator for fitness I am!

But before we get into this post, I want to say Happy Birthday to my Daddy.  Today he would have been 91 years old.  I lost him on March 1, 2013 and I still miss him terribly. Yesterday when I was thinking about what today would have been (his birthday), tears welled up in my eyes....but then I made myself think happy thoughts.  He's no longer in pain and today I'm guessing for lunch he will be having a huge bowl of gumbo with my maternal grandma, Mama, and some dirty rice and beans made by my aunt Gloria (who both lived in New Orleans before they passed) and for dinner he will be having chicken and dumplings followed by warm banana pudding made by Grandma Violet, his mother (it was what she made when we would visit and it was always the best).  And I'm sure my Uncle Emile will go with him to enjoy those meals.  Those thoughts made me smile and when I talked to my mom on the phone telling her about them, I could hear a smile in her voice.  So Happy Birthday Daddy.  Enjoy!  I miss you and love you dearly.

Life seems to be getting better.  My steps are baby steps, but I feel like I'm making some progress. I'm getting to the gym more often and I'm not having to take as many anti-anxiety pills.  I think the exercise is a big factor, but the other thing that has helped me tremendously is forgiveness. When someone hurts you by their decisions, actions or nature, you can let it hurt you, you can let it eat you up inside, you can let it bring you emotionally to a stand still.  Or you can sit yourself down (or with a therapist) and you can have a heart to heart talk with yourself....and if that someone is important in your life, you can forgive them for whatever they've done to hurt you.  You don't even have to say it to their face.  You just have to forgive them in your heart and mind.  Oh what a weight that takes off your shoulders and your heart.  How freeing that is to allow you to move on.  If you hold that hurt in your heart and let it eat at you, then it's just like holding a grudge or hanging on to guilt.....you let them win.  Especially if it's something you can not change. Life's too short and family is too precious. You can't imagine the change it has made in how I feel and in how much I cry (or don't cry) now.  Now when I cry, it's usually from the dang side effects of the Aromasin (post-cancer medicine) I'm taking.  It's nasty stuff with lots of icky side affects.

As I'm writing this I got to thinking I could apply this thought to exercise and losing weight.  Sometimes you just have to forgive yourself (maybe lots of times).  We're all human and sometimes we fall off the wagon (at least I do....and sometimes "a lot").  Lately (with my emotions being open and raw and exposed), I tend to beat myself up, if the scale doesn't budge or goes the wrong way, if I sleep in and miss my early morning spin class.  Well I had one of those selfies (no not the picture of myself taken with my cell phone), but one of those (slap in the face....get over it) talks to myself.  I've learned to forgive myself and move on.  OK so I slept through the early morning spin/cycle class....then get out the schedule and see if there is one later in the day or a couple of other fitness classes that can give you some meaningful cardio exercise....or go to the gym and get on the treadmill for an hour. Don't spend the day, making excuses for the excuse you made. It's not the end of the world....it's just not.  It took a long time to put this weight on and to get out of shape and feel unfit.  But if you keep after it, if you keep trying....keep going to fitness classes and the gym...and eat healthy.....it may take a while, but you will get there.

It's how I've had to look at the "me" I am right now.  A lot of things happened to get me to this point....a lot of unhappy things.  But I've decided not to continue to dwell on them and talk about them....that just keeps the unhappiness alive.  You know me and Pinterest.....well sure enough I found some quotes that I love....


                                                           
Actually when I think about it, life if pretty darn good right now. You know the saying (or maybe you don't)...."All you need is all you have".  I have everything I need and then some.  I have a beautiful home, great neighbors, a man that loves me dearly and not only tells me, but shows me how much every day, I have my health (with a few caveats), I have food on my table and I am making the time to exercise and write.  So really what do I have to complain about.

I can't close this post without mentioning Amy Purdy  http://www.amypurdy.com/ 
She is the young woman who danced with Derek Hough on this past season of Dancing With The Stars.  She is a double amputee having had both legs removed below the knee.  But she has not let that stop her.  She is a world class snowboarder who competed in Sochi, Russia and she came in second in Dancing With The Stars.  This young woman is phenomenal and every time I watched her dance, I always said..."And Peggy, what did you say your excuse was?"

We can do this people.  We can pull ourselves up by our bootstraps (no matter how frazzled and worn they are) and we can get fit and healthy and we can be fit and healthy when we're 99.

Here's another prime example....http://www.npr.org/blogs/thetwo-way/2014/06/02/318238155/91-year-old-woman-breaks-marathon-record   
Onward and upward!  Have a beautiful healthy and happy day!