Short little message before I go get ready to go. It's 4:25 AM according to the clock on my computer. I've been up and down all night....in and out of sleep. I went to bed around 9:45 knowing I had to get up early and also knowing that after midnight, I could have no food or water....food I can do without (for weeks Ha Ha!), but water...uuuuugh that's tough, cause I'm used to drinking 8-10 glasses a day. So my built in body alarm must have noted that in my subconscious, because I woke up - full awake - at 11:45 and got up and had about 1/4 cup of water....it tasted sooooo good!
I went back to bed wondering if I would be able to go back to sleep. I guess I did, but then woke up at 3:45, so at 4:00 I got up knowing it was THE MORNING when once again I was going to have surgery to remove some cancer cells from my body. So this is a good morning.....come on....say it with me....THIS IS A GOOD MORNING!
The gentlemen who was in the room with us yesterday and prepped me for the Sentenal Node dye injection told us a story about a surgeon he used to work for who himself (the surgeon) had lymphoma and everyone who worked in his office happened to be cancer survivors. The first time he had lymphoma, he did fine, kept a positive attitude and bounced back. The second time it hit him, again....positive attitude and bounced back. The third time it hit him, he found it hard to muster up the positive attitude ....so he called his lead secretary...or main person in the office into his office and told her he was thinking of selling his practice because he just wasn't feeling real positive about his situation. Her reply to him was.....no way.....if you want to feel sad...do it for a while and get over it...we are all cancer survivors in this office....that's why we work for you....your positive attitude about cancer is why we love working here. I am not going to tell your patients to you gave up.
That story really hit home with me. Yeh this is the second time. But 11 years have gone by since the first time and there are so many new things out there....so many strides they've made in the world of cancer. I am surrounding myself with positive attitude. I am infusing in my brain....with positive attitude. I will be just fine. I keep thinking "Cindy Bishop".....Cindy is a dear sweet lady that I used to work with ....I hold her up as my model, the person I can not praise enough. I don't know how long she's been battling cancer....for sure over 10 years. It keeps coming back, but she does what has to be done....surgery, chemo, radiation and always always always, she manages to smile and keep a positive attitude. Cindy, you're my hero....in my eyes you are Wonder Woman and I love you for the example you have given me to follow.
Well I need to go get showered and ready to go. I'll be back this afternoon....healthier than I am this ...............THIS VERY GOOD MORNING!
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