Glow Little Glow Worm!

 

Well I got that procedure over with!  

So I walk in and this very nice guy calls us into an office and starts to explain exactly what is going to happen....4 shots of nuclear blue dye will be injected by needle into my breast around the nipple.......

Me-- "OK, that's after you numb my breast right?"

Him-- "NO...we've found that the numbing solution does not let tissues absorb and move the dye they way it needs to move to get to where it needs to go....the Sentenal Node".

Me-- (as my eyes widen like saucers) "Are you serious!?"

Him-- "Yep"

Anyway, I calm myself....after all I have my Big Girl Panties on...I can get through this....as the agony of hot grease falling on my toes, the pain of my torn Achilles Tendon, the removal of the drain tube from my axillary under my arm (on the last breast cancer), the burning pain of having Shingles...all flashes through my mind.  I got through those, I can get through this.  He prepped me and then called the radiologist to tell him I was ready.  The young radiologist came in and asked if I understood what he was going to do.  I said yes.  He looked at me very seriously and said "I am not going to lie to you....these are going to burn.....A LOT!"  "You can punch me if you want to afterwards, just don't punch me while I'm putting the needles in".  He said some people take it in stride, some say it really really hurts, and some scream out....."feel free to scream if you need to"...

OK....this is number 1......not much more than the stick when they draw blood....OK I can handle this...

OK...this is number 2.......oh wait number one is starting to burn...                                       
OK...this is number 3.....holy o moly.....1 & 2 are burnnnnning  ...and now 3 is burning too...
   OK...you're doing great, last one.....there you go....are you OK?

 Yehhhhhhh.....fine!!!  Super....Juuuuuust Great!

  My breast feels like someone opened the gates....and it wasn't the pearly ones!   
      
 Maybe that's a bit of an exaggeration....but it really was burning.....uhhhh mama!

So now it has to be massaged (by me!) for 5 minutes to get the dye to start moving and then I get to walk up and down the corridor for 10 minutes....which felt like 20 minutes (oh well, guess I got my walk in for the day)  

By the time I finished walking, the burning had subsided....thank goodness.

Now I get to go in and  get my glamor shots....put your hands here, turn your head this way, click click.....click click.....and you can see the hot spot where they injected the dye and you can see how it's traveled to the Sentenal Node......and then they mark the spot (where that first Node is) with a lovely body maker  right where it is they put a big fat ..........so the surgeon knows just where to go in the morning.  That sounds good to me....let's not cut away any more tissue than we have to.

So that's about how my afternoon went.....

Rest assured we won't have to have any night light on in the bedroom tonight.....cause the guy in radiology said I'll be glowing all night!!!   


I'll be leaving here about 5:30 in the morning....so I probably won't be writing much before I go....but I should be back home tomorrow afternoon and If I'm not completely zonked, I'll let you know how I'm doing...

I can do this....with all the warm thoughts and vibes I'm getting, I will be fine!


 I am ever so thankful I had John right there with me today...he'll be right there when I wake up in the recovery room tomorrow...and there's no doubt in my mind, he'll be the best nurse I could have when I get home and when I start my treatments.  With him I'm not afraid, with him I am confident I can get through this.....that means the world to me....he means the world to me!!


 Glow Little Glow Worm Glow!

 One day closer to recovery.....See you tomorrow.....I better get some sleep...5:00 comes early!




 

Step 1J

 Thursday, November 14, 2013

Well I am off.....in about 20 minutes I will drive the 15-20 min. ride to the hospital and at 2:00 they will begin the procedure to inject the blue dye that will find the first lymph node that WE HOPE tomorrow, they WILL NOT find any signs of the carcinoma spread to....

I call this Step 1J cause it's not really the 1st step....I count the 1st step from when I got my yearly mammogram on October 8th....and then the following days when I got the unpleasant news.

But I just took a shower and as my dear sweet friend Jane Esty says....put on my Big Girl Panties and I am ready to get this done and move forward.....and get right back in step to getting healthy again and fit.....and to continue that program at least until I'm 99.

Gotta run (OK OK...I'll take the car)....but I'll be back this afternoon and I'll let you know how it goes....I can just see those hands flying up right now as I write... of those of you who wish they could take my place.....thanks, but you can't......I've gotta do this one on my own...

I'll be back this afternoon and let you know how it went....


It's really not suppose to be toooooooooo bad! 
One more chance to show that I'm a tough old broard!!!(she said as she grits her teeth and flashes a fake smile).

Mark the date and time....let the prayers begin!

Well I thought and thought and thought about whether I felt up to having the surgery or if I should put it off.....was this really a head cold or was it allergies....were my lungs really involved....how strong was I feeling? The questions were just zipping through my head, like a cat chasing a feather toy.....

I went and got a pedicure

 just in case............ you know-- it's a girl thing.... going on a date, going on a cruise, going in for surgery....... you need a pedicure  :)

And while I was there I weighed all my "cold" issues and unlike this morning when I was coughing, I got to thinking maybe this was really a bad allergy attack since mold and  cedar are high right now.  So I thought I'd wait for the call from the Physician's Asst. and see what she thought.  Well low and behold, she asked me some questions .....had I had fever...NO......was my throat still sore....NO....did my chest feel congested...NO....she said "I really think it's allergies"...I think you'll be fine......but we can certainly postpone it if you don't feel comfortable.

Let me think about this....hmmmmm 1. Do I want to get this monster out of me?  2. Do I feel healthy enough to go through it right now?  3. Am I ready to be injected with blue dye? 4. Do I have a clean pair of "big girl" panties to put on and forge ahead....hmmmm....


    1. Yes I do.  2. Yes I do.  3. Yes I am. 4. Yes I do......

They called me from the hospital and instead of  3:30 tomorrow, they are going to do the Sentenal Node at 2:00
 
 So tomorrow afternoon I'll be a real blue blood!!!

                                                 
Then I'll be up bright and early Friday morning to get this show on the  road......
                                                    

                       

So I'm counting on all the warm hugs over the cyber space and all the prayers and well wishes.... and a doctor that knows what he's doing and thank goodness I'm the first one Friday morning!   Always good to go first!!!

ONLY POSITIVE THOUGHTS!  LET THE HEALING BEGIN!

Not a happy little camper....

             

Wednesday, November 13, 2013   (9:30 AM - CDT)

  Sitting here waiting for my phone to ring....waiting for a call from the PA working with my surgeon so she can help me decide if I need to postpone my surgery. Although I am feeling much better I am still having a "productive" cough (sorry that was as polite a way as I could think to say it) and I am concerned that I probably do not need to be coughing after surgery or have signs of this dang viral head cold when I'm about to receive anesthesia.
 I am not a happy little camper right now
                                                             


I thought I was on the mend....I am on the mend........yesterday I was all set to go.....gearing up for Thursday and Friday.........but this morning I think perhaps I am just not quite there yet and now that I'm coughing more, my gut is telling me to wait. I'll just see what the PA says when she calls.

So as soon as I get the call , I'll do another post and let you know what's happening.....or not happening

Is that a bit of steam I see? Are the wheels moving?

Monday, November 11, 2013

First let me say a huge THANK YOU to all the Veterans living and those that gave their lives for the freedom I have in the beautiful country I live in. I salute you one and all.


I think I may see a bit of steam and hear the clickity clack of the surgery train coming on down the track.  My nasty head cold seems to be doing a lot better today as I continue to stick to the med regimen given to me by the doctor over the weekend and I continue to ingest lots of vitamin C and lots, lots, lots of water.  So fingers still crossed, I am hoping we'll still be 'on track' for the surgery Friday, November 15th.

I got a call from the anesthesia department (pre-op) to get my history background and tell me the exact scheduling of all that will happen.  So for those of you who have ask about it here's the schedule:

3:30 PM November 14th-- SENTENAL NODE DYE INJECTION

      I will go in and have the die injected to do the Sentenal Node (which helps them find the 1st lymph node under my arm.....they will  remove to make sure the cancer has not spread into the nodes.  They plan on taking the first 3 nodes for testing and to run the calculation that will give me % of possible recurrence......which will help determine if I will need to have chemo. ( I some really informative YouTube videos made by a woman named Krista Moon --one of which was what to expect when you go to have the die injected)  I was so so so glad I found it because I had earlier found a video of them removing the nodes and was thinking that is what I was in store for on Thursday afternoon.........but thankfully I will be in "LaLa Land" when they actually remove them.....Thank you Thank you Thank you Krista (somewhere in Michigan) for your       excellent videos.

      No food or water after midnight.....

6:00 AM November15th--NEEDLE POINT AND SURGERY

      I report to the hospital to start prepping  for a 7:30 procedure of needle marking of the exact location of the tissue they will remove of any part of the cluster of cells that wasn't taken in the biopsy, the margins, and those 3 lymph nodes (OK....so I'm not sure what this involves.  I'm sure I probably had it done last time, but that's all such a blur I can't even begin to remember what it entailed.  I'm thinking of it as outlining a cross-stitch picture prior to doing the cross-stitch
                                 
  

Well actually I did find a video and what this involves is them (under anesthesia) inserting a wire into the breast and down into the tissue that has the cancerous cells so that the surgeon sees exactly where he needs to cut and what he needs to remove as far as the cells and the margins around them....and then while they are doing that they use a probe to find the hot spot of the blue dye that was injected so they can then remove the lymph nodes. (That's right....on Friday morning I will have my own WiFi!!!!)....oh OK probably a different kind hotspot! :)

Bada Bing Bada Boom......and 


Anyway, that's all I know right now.  I've got lots of research to do on eating healthier, the importance of exercise and getting  stress out of my life......all really important alternative routes to fighting any recurrence.  I don't want to do chemo.....but I did it 11 years ago when I had cancer on the other side and as I did then, I'll listen carefully to  the statistics, percentages etc. and the advice of the oncologist (that I've yet to meet) and make my decision.....and as they say, cross that bridge when I get to it.

See you tomorrow or Wednesday.....Think I'll shut this computer down and go watch the boob tube....(no pun intended!)

Stuffy, Sluggish and Sleepy

Boy today has just been a day.....I have been stuffy, sluggish and sleepy.  My head hurts, my sinuses hurt, my ears hurt and one or the other side of my nose is stopped up........so I have literally done nothing except scroll through pages and pages and pages of Pinterest, checked e-mail, looked at FaceBook posts and been a real bump on a log.  Tomorrow I have a doctor appointment (yes on Saturday....I was surprised too).  I called to see if I could get in today for this earache, but it wasn't to be.....none of the doctors at our clinic had any openings, so when they offered me an appointment for tomorrow morning, I jumped on it.

I should have seen this cold, sinus infection, what ever it is coming....I was stressed over my news and the weather has changed, barometric pressure's dropped and mold, rag weed etc. are high....I'm hearing this crud is going around......Just wished I hadn't contracted it a week or two after my diagnosis and a week before my surgery....cause stress does not make for good recovery.....

Did you just hear that?  It was me yawning....so I'm going to get off this computer and go plop myself down in front of the boob tube (no pun intended!) and see if there is anything worth watching.

Tomorrow's our community Arts and Crafts Show and I'll report back on anything I see that might involve exercise or getting fit (????) and I'll tell you what the doc tells me about all this stuffy, sluggish, sleepy thingy I have going on!  

Stop being a patient...be a person......and other interesting thoughts

 










 I just finished reading a book by Robin Quivers called  The Vegucation of Robin .  It's a pretty interesting book about changing over to a plant based eating plan....I'm not going to say diet, cause I hate that word.  Diets don't work.  Lifestyle changes do. It's all about the importance of vegetables and yes, even becoming a vegetarian or vegan.  I happened to see her on the Rachel Ray show when I was channel surfing one day and just caught the tail end of her interview and she said something that so struck home, I grabbed a piece of paper and pencil and wrote it down.  She was telling Rachel how this statement made to her by her doctor was the beginning of her healing.  He told her to "Stop being a patient and start being a person".  I so love that suggestion.  It is so how I want to handle this second journey with breast cancer.  I want to continue exercising and just go on about my daily routine as though there is no question that I'm going to get this "disgusting distraction" taken care of and move on. 

  So now doesn't that sound brave? If nothing else, I'm putting on a really good front :) 


This little picture was on Pinterest and I posted it to my board called "Breast Cancer, Yet Again"...it just fit so perfectly....because the caption in Pinterest  read..."THIS WAS ME WHEN I GOT THE NEWS"...the picture says it all: 
   I was deflated, unbelieving, sad, confused, and just couldn't figure out how this could have happened yet again.  But as I talk to friends and neighbors, I am finding it's not so uncommon. And I am encouraged to know that others have gone through it twice and survived both times.  That doesn't mean I think it's a walk in the park, doesn't mean I'm confident it will be an easy process, just because I've 'been there, done that'....and have some idea of what is ahead of me.  But when you get breast cancer or any kind of cancer you latch on to any ray of hope you can and survival statistics do count as rays of hope.  

I have to tell you though, I believe in honesty and since you are my friend, whether I know you or just because you are following my journey, I have to be honest with you..........

Behind this smile and this 'Rah Rah' positive attitude, I have to admit, there's a part of me that's scared.  And sometimes I am less brave than normal and sometimes I blow things way out of proportion........for example.....Sunday evening we returned from visiting my mom and I noticed that I had a bit of a sore throat and by Monday, I was beginning to get all stuffy with ear ache and slightly swollen glands.....all the signs of a lovely fall  head cold.  I went to a fitness class (core and cycle) on Monday (trying to be the macho gym babe) thinking that I'd sweat some of this out of me.  Yesterday was worse...but I went to another class and by the time I got home I was miserable and sounded like I had a frog in my throat and was on the way to losing my voice.  I slathered myself up with Vicks, took some Tylenol and tried to get some sleep.  But I'll be danged if that sneaky, creepy, mean and vicious old "Fearful, Not Confident" side of me didn't get a 'full nelson' around my throat and made a really nonsensical thought crawl into my mind.....What if this wasn't just a simple head cold that's taken hold since my immune system is probably not as strong as normal?  What if the cancer has spread since they did the biopsy? What if......?  Well you get the picture....I started bawling like a baby.....which is never comforting for your loved one laying next to you trying to figure out what you're trying to tell him as you blubberingly say what you're thinking.  Thank goodness, for most of us, we have someone who can remain calm and soothing.....someone who can reassure you that you are indeed blowing things way out of proportion.  Never the less I didn't get much sleep (which of course was not great for this darn cold).....but on a brighter note, I did have the latest episode of "THE VOICE" recorded.....and since it's one of my favorite shows, I got out of bed, donned some headphones and let it further sooth my weary soul.  

Just to be on the safe side, I called the Physician's Assistant that works with the surgeon who will be doing my surgery on November 15th and told her my symptoms and asked if I needed to go in and get antibiotics or anything to assure that I would not have to postpone my surgery.  She said "IT" was going around and in fact had a case of it herself....that since I had no fever, it was most likely viral and would run it course with vitamin C and over the counter remedies....but if not better by next Tuesday to call her back.   So even though I am still all stuffed up and have a raspy voice, I am feeling a bit more confident again....and ready to take on what the rest of this month has in store for me.

I guess that was a long long long explanation of me trying to say, that if you know someone who is fighting cancer and you are amazed at their positive attitude and the seemingly endless smile on their face.....  If they occasionally blow things out of proportion or cry over something that seems silly or exaggerated to you, take a minute and remember that deep down they might just be feeling a little scared.

I think for the most part, I'm a "glass half-full" kind of gal.....so I'm thinking positive .....

This beautiful quote makes me smile, makes me shake my head affirmatively, makes me feel  strong and assured that all will be well....


 

 
Remember..... 

THINK PINK!